The Business of Being Born

Or, What Every Woman in the States Needs to See. How birthing is done in America needs some serious reconsideration if *45%* of births in 2005 were actually Cesarians. I've already done a post on Hospital Births, but I wanted you to see this amazing trailer of an up-and-coming documentary that actually gets it right...are you willing to listen?

The Business of Being Born

I'll remind you that once upon a time I had no idea what was really going on in the hospital concerning birthing and our precious children. I went right along with what I was told because I assumed that doctors wanted the best for me and my baby. Ladies (and gentlemen), that just isn't true. If it were, they would tell you all the risks involved when you get an epidural, or pitocin, or they wouldn't force you to stay hungry during birth, or get an IV that straps you on your back during back labor.

I *need* to inform people. I want women to make decisions based on knowledge. Only then can they decide what is *truly* best for them and their baby.

What do you think? Did this trailer cause your blood to stir as it did mine?

For Mimi:

This is a new feature of Blogger- the video option. It might take a while to load, so if you aren't interested in getting a glimpse of my home life, you're better off moving on to the next blog...

I'm afraid of being: The Invisible Woman

This is powerful. Simple, amazingly sad, but true (for so many of us). I mentally fought against the idea the entire time I was reading until the (second to) last paragraph. Here's a snippet, but thanks to Barbara Curtis from mommylife.net, the source has been found. You can follow the link at the bottom to read it all.

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals.
We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

By Nicole Johnson

It started to happen gradually …

One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?"

"Nobody," he shrugged.

Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.

That's when I started to put all the pieces together. I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me.

I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Here's the rest...

Dogs vs. Children: only in America

This is unbelievable...as America decides that children are an unimportant part of marriage- dogs are just fine, thank you- a Russian governor urges couples to play hooky & hook up (I couldn't resist):

Skip work, make babies, says Russian governor

Wed Sep 12, 6:02 AM ET

The governor of a central Russian province urged couples to skip work on Wednesday and make love instead to help boost Russia's low birth-rate.

And if a woman gives birth in exactly nine months time -- on Russia's national day on June 12 -- she will qualify for a prize, perhaps even winning a new home.

WORLD magazine reported in their July 21st publication:

Pew found that only 41 percent of Americans now view having children as "very important" to a successful marriage, down from 65 percent in 1990.

Faithfulness, at 93 percent, topped the list of key marriage ingredients, followed by happy s*xual relationships at 70 percent. But even sharing household chores (at 62 percent) and earning an "adequate" income (at 53 percent) beat out having children. Out of nine options given, having children came in eighth. Only the importance of spouses agreeing on politics drew less support.

The talk of the town has been that Seattle has more dogs than children. From the Seattle Times:

There are about 125,000 dogs in Seattle, going by both the Seattle Animal Shelter's estimate and an independent analysis by The Seattle Times.

In the 2000 census, there were fewer than 90,000 children in Seattle.

But to be fair:

This says more about the number of children in Seattle, which has fewer households with children than any other large city besides San Francisco. There are a lot of students and other young people here, plus childless professionals putting in long hours, and a sizable gay and lesbian population. Houses are either too small or too expensive for most families with children. The dog numbers are actually pretty average. One in three households has a dog.

So overall, birthrates are down, but most Americans think nothing of it. In fact, most people I pass think I'm crazy for having more than 2.1 children (the newest statistical average). I mostly get wide-eyed looks and often get comments. One woman in particular stands out as saying, "Boy have you been busy procreating!" (I guess it was better than being called a breeder- see the Christianity Today article here). We get made fun of, we get the old line about over-population, we get dirty looks, but whose going to take care of all those people when they get older? It won't be there dogs, that's for sure.

In 20 years we'll be a free country with "labor shortages, fewer buyers in the future to prop up stock and real estate prices, [and] a dearth of customers for business." Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of National Marriage Project says, "The popular culture is increasingly oriented to fulfilling the X*rated fantasies and desires of adults. Childrearing values--sacrifices, stability, dependability, maturity--seem stale and musty by comparison."

And just for kicks, here's a line graph by Steve Sailer (I didn't want to read it all either):

Ht: mommylife

an innovative solution to the "sneaking food" problem

My babies...the ones that can walk, talk, and throw fits, have been sneaking food on a daily basis. They'll wake up at 5 am, open the fridge, and take out whatever their little hearts desire. Lately it's been the (buy one get one free) all natural hotdogs from Wild Oats. These puppies are delicious, expensive, and do *not* under any circumstances belong on the floor half eaten.

It's one thing for them to get food out because they are hungry and eat what they find, but they take food and play with it. Yesterday it was the buns, all torn up into little pieces. Last week it was chocolate muffins (eaten, yes, but with a million little crumbs all over the bed, floors, pillows, etc). One morning they got a new pack of hotdogs out, the three year old cut the pack open, and then proceeded to cut the dogs up into 1 inch pieces and throw them behind her bed. Why? Only Heaven knows. We *do* follow the recommendations of the If-Then chart if you are concerned that we don't adequately discipline our children. We do. Begrudgingly sometimes, but we do.

So last night, after disciplining sweet number two for the millionth time for this repeat offense (this time it was a scoop of sour cream...with her hand), my husband devised a plan. Have free gun locks? Don't have a gun? I bet you have a refrigerator!

A New Dynamic

My seven-year-old has flown out of the coop and been gone for a week (which gives me more time to blog), and the dynamic in our house has changed dramatically! Before, there was bickering, boredom, and blues, but with the oldest gone, my two middle children are happy to creatively play with each other for long periods of time.

One of the goals I listed to complete before his return was to get at least four weeks of lesson planning done. I mentioned our new curriculum, and I have been so excited to have daily plans that will keep him busy. Too busy to bother the babies. Too busy to interrupt their special "we're-only-16-months-apart" dynamic. Not doing "busy work," of course, but we are finally stemming away from the three 'R's and getting into more lengthy lessons. Hurray!

Team work! I'm a proud mama.

another fly-by post

I came across a couple of comics from the one-and-only "homeschooling" blog I've been reading lately. Pretty funny:

Brothers on Mother's Day

This cracked. me. up. I love a good laugh, so I'm sharin'...

Here I am!

Samara Lucille
November 20th, 2006
11lbs
22 1/4 inches
"Guarded by God"

Don't Stress Your Baby Out!

I found an article that explains the reason response time is important to babies (when they cry). With 28 citations I believe this woman knows the subject she is discussing. I have wondered recently if babies (who then grow to become toddlers) are affected by how quickly a mother is able to soothe them after they begin to cry. I have always been a believer in, "You can't spoil a baby until at least 6 months." I know all children are different, but before 6 months children *need* their mama's to respond to their cries. I was told with my first that you couldn't spoil him until he was one. I believed it, and lived it out, and was fortunate enough that I *didn't* spoil him according to male book writers and uninvolved opinion swayers in the 70's. They taught us that a mother should let her babe "cry it out" and ignore the poor babe's only way to communicate (Sears). These men would whole heartedly disagree with the way I nurtured my son- what with him even sleeping in the bed with me! But spoiled he is not. He is a beautiful child- a tender hearted 6 year old, indeed- no signs of spoiling, for sure. So my point? What is natural for so many mother's ("Oh my baby is crying! I must soothe him!") is a scientifically proven good thing for women's as well as babies hormones. See:

Stress in Infancy